friends arent they great u can sit with them and u can laugh with them and u can have sex with them. ((( friends with benifits only tho )))   my best friends are kassie hilary and stechie  but mostly kassie and hilary our family of uncles. so one day kassie and i raped eachother and we dicided to get married adn then we had more sex and it was good timekassie and i are reallly goood friends hilary just got naked and il iked her bum um her dog humped the bed and it turned on kassie... here is a lil story called the UNCLE FAMILY (( amber kassie and hilary ))

  The uncle family we made up of 3 gurls who were really good friends and they had parties alll night and alll day cuz thats wut they liked to do. one day kassie picked her nose and fed it to the dog named water bong. they named the dog water bong cuz it liked to smoke outta the water bong alot. um after the dog at kassies bugger it died and they burried it in the back yard whith its water bong. um hilary was putting on make up one day when a homless man threw a orange crayon at her and she was all like wut the fuck ill fuck u up u stupid hobo and then she did a lil jig and the died. the next day amber went streaking in the front lawn when a cop drove by. He chassed her down and then tried to rape her but she pulled a laraina  bobbet and cut his penis off and he died.  the following week they all went to burger king and on the way there was a bom on the side of the road and kassie picked it up and they all died the end.

current mood: horny

 okay so ya know ya u know ........ today was sooo fucking hott and ya my mom is cool she goes threw my shit hehe....I SAW todd to day it was kool glad were talking again..... also saw ******* and it still hurts but ya know if he doenst like me for me fuck him....... ahhh man hahahha I GOT A TAN BITCHES not big one but im working on it im in a random mood my sis and shea went to canobe today i was jelous but hey thats cool cuz my other sis went to the beach and i did 0 kinda i hung out with ppl and made my sun burn worse.......  oh ya and one thing that bites donky dick is sami has been gone exactly

16 weeks..... 16 weeks with out my lez lover (( jk bout the lez))  ugh it sux i miss her so much man she moved fucking 5 hrs away 5 hours SHE MIGHT COME UP FOR THE Fourth ya ya

I DUNNO

xoxox abby xoxox

current mood: chinese dude hehe

ya so fucking ugh my mom is being wiked gay okay so i came home from the sko8 park to change and go back right so i went back and changed as i changed my sis came down told me that my mom new about the fucking ex shit and other stuff and i was like omfg...... she came down sairs bitching and i was like ma shut the fuck up okay im not fuckng retarted i no not to do taht shit and then we bitched for like 15 minutes i changed as i went up stairs she like strip searched me and was like ill be checking up on u and crap thats when i fliped the fuck out i was like u no what im sick of ur shit how do u no chris and crysatl dont hang out with fucking druggies and shit hu y is just me cuz u heard rumers ya fuck  u mom okay ur fucking gay and never fucking trust me and i started to walk and she started bitching and i slamed the door shut and i asked shea for a ride to the sk8 park and he was like no way so i started walking and then started crying fucking ugh....... i got there and i was like tiah im not aloud to hang out with u and she was like y and i told her and fucking i wanted to start bawling my eyes out and jay was being really nice and tiah to so ya i went for a walk to get my head strait and calm down and then ya chilled...... i fucking hate my mom i hate this house i hate my fam i just want to move away and fucking get away form this gay ass town and ugh but hey ya no tomrrow ill just put on a happyt facve and act like every thing is okay  even tho i totaly didnt fucki8ng do shit but if she doesnt want to believe me thats okay i dont fucking care ne more about shit i just want to die except i wanna live for like the futur to show my mom i can make it and fucking for a fam and my friends ya know...... ya well i typed enought im outty peace

fuck it all to hell man

current mood: sick

ya so i met this kid like on monday or w.e and we just stared talking like wensday or thursday i cant remeber ne ways ya he is like wiked cool and i think that i like him alot......                                         (( blush face ))

but ya like its crazy..... hes wiked cool and i think he is cute... ya i hope he likes me that be really cool too hella tight yo..... OH YA and todd is talking to me again like we were at the sk8 park and i was mad and sitting down and fucking he was like amber come talk to me sit here and ill chill wit ya.... ya now that i dont love him ne more (( i mean love )) he talks to me if he likes me and ever asks me out i would have to say no cuz ya... .OH and fucking chris is a lil fucking dingle berry didnt do shit to him and he is being wiked gay and i dont even know   what i did to him for him to be like that... but i gues thats just chris and ya no thats kool if he doesnt want to be friends im kool with that too... im not sure if me and brit are friends but thats okay and ya i dunno about me and marice...  ya and crystal thinks im becoming a majior durggine and im def not but thats okay and ugh i dunno my life feels like its spinning outta control and like it really sux fucking my mom all she ever does i sbit about every lil fucking thing and i just want to punch her and tell her to shut the fuck up and leave me alone ya know but ya thats also kool fucking skool is almost out and i dont want it to all my sinor friends are leaving .... BERRY YA UR LEAVING ME BETTER VISIT bitch... jp  and ya then fucking 3 years left its all gone by so fucking fast its crazy..... ugh i got alot of shit on my mind like fucking i dont kno how i feel like i feel happy kinda but then not i feel mad but then like i feel sad or happy or angry i dont fucking know its really weird i gotta go get some fucking sleep tho i just noticed i say fucking alot but ya thats kool thats me ...

fuck that man....

current mood: haha knobs

okay so im just sitting at jeffs waiting to go home when kerrie gets back  last night  i went with jeff to go glow bowling and he went with his lil 7thgrade friends maggie kevin  robby jordan and phill oh yea cory wasthere it was fun hung out till like 11 and shit ya i  was talking to **** about ***** and ***** going back out and i guess now she still kinda likes him and there porbgunna go back out and jackand i just like freaked out and shit so ya like i called her and i had her on speaker phone and shit and i was like do you like him again and she was like kinda y iwaslike just ondering and **** was sitting next to mand were  like here we go again with this shit and omg......hes gunna get hurt and she is gunna bitchabout him to me like she usaly does.... but you no thats groove  i feel bad for jack and matt cuz ***** chills with **** more than he chills with his best friends who have been there threw every thing and he just kinda blew them off and me too but he needs to stop saying helovesher cuz hell find someone new over time i know he will and i dont want it to be me persay cuz as much as i like him i know i have to let him go well never be right for eachother and i under stand that but he cant go on obsessing over **** idont want himto get hurt of him i dunno.... i ***** jack and matt need to have a talk about all this shit cuz if hekeeps treating them like shit and blowing them off for her he might loose them and i dont want that to hapens cuz there good friends and shit i dunno high skool shit is soo mesed up .... he says were really good friends and shit but ino that were not and just want to  punch himahhh lol but wtf does he think he is doning w.e man w.e

there is this kid i met well he is in one of my classes 2 if you count skipping 3rd period to go to his study well my old studdyhe skips to lol.. but ya he is wiked cool and i want to go out with him well maybe not i wanna get to know him first ya know but i told myfriend that i liked him and she fliped out and called me a slut i was so mad i waslike bitch illfucking knocl you out...lately ive been hanging out with tiah and she wanted to fight this chick and she was like would you jump in i was like hell ya ............ i like wiked need to talk to him and shit .... but ya fucking gay here till when everman  im gunna go beat up jeff

fuck it

current mood: fuck u fuckers haha

 its been 5 months since you went away left with out a word and nothing to say 

when i was the one who gave you my heart and soul but it wasnt good enough for you no

so i asked god

god send me an angel from the hevans above

send me an angel to hear my broken heart from being in love

cuz all i do is cry send me angel to wipe the tears from my eyes

my heart cant take no more lies and my eyes are all outta crys.......

now you had me on my knees beging god plz to send you back to me

i couldnt eat i couldnt sleep you made me feel like i coudlnt breath

a song about how i feel about the man of my dreams whos in love with the gurl of his.... man this fucking sux i wish we could like  give it another try ya know but its not gunna fucking happen and it hurts so fucking bad,,,,,, ah it sux

current mood: blahity

 ya so today wasnt bad had a dt that got anoying bitched at my teacher lol that was fun he was like ur 3 away form an f i was like 4 thank you cuz i have a 68 and my friend mark stuck his head in the class room and was like and 2 away from a c- lmao that was great..... um a lil drama at lunch but prity much a layed back day well got introuble like every class and i wanan kill shawn but thats just me.............

HIM

okay so i might sound gay but i really hope that we go out and ugh he is like every thing i love the kid to death he knows every thing about me he knows every thing ive been threw cuz hes been threw it and i fucked up the frist time but i hope we get another try........ i really do.........

till i die ill be waiting for you

<//3 abby <//3

current mood: crazy

wat do i have to life for... some say friends fam and love is wat keeps them going.... fam hates me love has screwed me over the only kid i have ever loved is gone for ever and friends well i guess thats about it for me... i wanna kill him so bad i wanna stabb him after what he has done to me i hope he dies...... i hope he rots in hell .... my house is driving me crazy all it is is bitching i just want out i want out of my house but i got no were to go no were at all ... wat am i gunna fucking do i got no were to go i cant live here ne more i cant my mom is driving me crazy my older sister beats on me and tells me to die every second of my life....  im gunna run away ppl say i wont but one day when im not here  its cuz i will be gone away from here.... im gunna do it to  ppl think i wont do it but i will they'l see one day when i save up ill buy a ticket to arazona and go there find my g rents and live with them.....  i hate it here i hate every one here except for like a few ppl....

love hurts so bad i just want him back in my life and to hold me in his arms once again but it wont happen cuz he is in love with her

current mood: blah sad

we look for love no time for tears we've wasted water all those years and it dont make no flowers bloom good things come to those who wait but not to those who wait to late we got to go for all we know.......  song im listening to....  so ya sam is over and we found a camping site it was sweet sam and i made a fire pit and like raked out the dead leaves its wiked kool were gunna hang up pix and every thing... tonight were goin back for a fire and pizza when my mom falls asleep that is........... im trying to get my mind of shit and all dy my mom has been askin wat is wrong and ive been saying nothing cuz all i was doin was watching t.v. its starting to get anoying...... ya i still miss him alot and love him alot and i feel really sick but thats not guna stop me from goin out tonight.... hehe... its gunna be so scary man we have to like hike for 15 minutes in pitch black well we have a flash light but i dunno ill get over it even tho ther are cyoties out there (0.0)  but oh well ill shoot them with my w.e i have... ( nothing prob ) but oh well so i get eaten and riped apart ill live.. ya well got nothing left to write so peace out bitches...

i hate him but at the same time i love him....

<//3 abby <//3

current mood: blah and w.e

i got to thinking about every thing and now i cant stop crying i cant stop and i dunno why i just fucking so much goin on at once i just want to curl up in a ball and die ...... i cant take it ne more the best thing in my life is gone from me the only thing that made me want to live gone..... and never going to come back...... miss sami like my best buddy ever so god damn much havent talked to her all month and it sux........ my mom wont look me in the face ne more all we do is bitch at eachother my older sister tells me to die evrey second how im useless and nothing and a whore and im starting to think she is right maybe i should die maybe i should wats the diff if i live...... i almost tired today chris stoped me whish he didnt i was close wish he didnt he doesnt no how much my life bits right now i go to skool to get harrased and fucking played try to keep a happy face all day threw skool even tho ppl are being so mean...... go home to bitching and yelling and  threats but i still try to keep a happy face...... i cant pretend ne more been doin it as a lil kid too and its getting harder and harder to wake up every day and put on an act that is starting to fail.... gotta act better..... i wish he was here hed no wat to do.... i wish that mike would come back not in jail ne more sick of him getting introuble..... wish sami come back wish i new wat was wrong with me.... wish my fam was so fucked up...... wish i did better in skool... wish that he was here with me...... wish i didnt cry every night...

current mood: sad/ worried

memories..... i can remeber the frist time we met it was odd and  we hardly talked.... i thought it was a lil crush how did i no it would turn into love...... for me that is......  we went out a few times and i dumped you and hurt you and u hurt me too....... but thats wat love is about pain.... some of it ne ways..... i remeber the first time you aked me out every word you said that day too..... i was so breathless  i couldnt speak i just nodded....... i remember all the nights i spent up crying over you too...... and the times i spent laughing.... its been a while and im still hurting and missing you even tho it was prob all my fault im in the place.... i remeber when you and i didnt talk and i remeber when you went out with her and how bad it hurt me but i hid that kept it inside...... you still are in love with her and it still hurts me to hear you say how much she means to you cuz when i help you out with her it hurts and when you say i love her so much i say im happy for you and i am... but deep down i wish that i was the one that you loved but i no thats not going to happen........ ha i remeber the time i was crying so hard i coudlnt breath and i almost killed my self and you were the only one who cared enough to call me and see if i was okay...........  i remeber the time we had our fun trhowing things and having a good time in my room..... a room were i cant get ne sleep cuz its full of memmoreits of you and me..........  these memories are destryoing me and i no they will never go away..... so i picked out a nice gun to erase them from my head......... the only way to for get them is if im dead....... 

always love you and miss you ....... lil broken down me.....

current mood: sick

The SPEED OF PAIN

They slit our throats
Like we were flowers
And our milk has been devoured

When you want it
It goes away too fast
When you hate it
It always seems to last
But just remember when you think you're free
The crack inside you fucking heart is me

(thought, not spoken): I wanna outrace the speed of pain for another day

I wish I could sleep
But I can't lay on my back
Because ther's a knife
For everyday that I've known you

When you want it
it goes away yoo fast
When you hate it
It always seems to last
But just remember when you think you're free
The crack inside your fucking heart is me

(thought, not spoken): I wanna outrace the speed of pain for another day

Lie to me, cry to me, give to me
I would
Lie with me, die with me, give to me
I would
Keep all your secrets wrapped in dead hair
I hope at least we die holding hands for always  

fuckin ah omg soo much ahhhhhhhh.. okay so like every one is fighting and shit goin on with like every one its soooooo fucking AHHHH and im trying to keep it cool but every day more shit happens like yesterday the whole rape thing got brought up again cuz  this bitch is saying kerrie back to cout some thing about breaking her restraining order  WHY THE HELL DOES THAT BITCH NEED ONE CUZ kerrie should be the one with the order cuz of wat that bitches son did to her daughter (( she is like my cousin and kerrie is like my aunt ))  stef will be scared for like ever cuz of wat happend fucking that bitches kid plays in their yard al lthe time and if thats not bad ppl caled child services on her cuz of an accidedn she accidently bit stef in the face cuz stefs face smashed into her mouth when they were rough housing and now she has to go to ct for that and then i dunno wats gunna happen if they take her away ill like kill my self ........ fucking ah this sux so bad........ then skool work lets not go there ppl makin fun of me and spreadking shit that isnt true then this whole thing with shawn has got me down so bad....... and then just ugh fucking w.e man and ppl think i like chris again and I FUCKING DONT  okay if i did y would i help him and brit out right... fucking ppl can suck a dick... ugh fucking my mom never wants to talk to me again and now all we do is bitch at eachother and my older sister is bitching at me and my friends THERE IS WAY TO MUCH FUCKING BITCHING JESUS ..... but besides that every thing is fucking shitty.too.....

and its all down hll from here..........   (( kyle im not fucking emo and i dont do shit for attention ur))  ya and i was walking in the hall fucking i walked by kyle and he was like bitch i was like excuse me y did u call me a bitch he was like ugh cuz ur bing you ..... now  how the hell can you fucking call some one a bitch for being them selves (( sighlent )) walking down the fucking halll fuck every one man

fuck it .

<//3 abby <//3

current mood: wiked pissed man